A Look At The Dark Ages of Dad Jokes

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Over the last 10 years, jokes about dad jokes have become a $700 Billion industry comprised of ironic T-shirts, novelty mugs, and Internet memes. Given this explosive growth, it’s easy to forget that dad jokes have been around since the early 12th Century, though not always as popular, and certainly not as lucrative. Without further a-doo-doo (dad joke), we present the sordid history of dad jokes.

1343: "The Muffled Swear Cough"  

Coming out of the Dark Ages, the dad jokes were understandably darker, as evidenced by the “Muffled Swear Cough” introduced by pub-going dads in 1343. In the town square, calls for higher tax rates were often met with coughs that sounded distinctly like the word “oxenturd,” considered at the time to be a profanity of the highest degree. Sadly, the Bubonic Plague of 1347 put a damper on the hilarity of fake cough-swearing, and the classic move laid dormant for 630 years until 7th grader Tim Fescoe revived the joke in response to a Biology pop quiz in October, 1977.

Late 1600s: "The Coin Behind the Ear Trick"


When the Pilgrims set sail in the 1620s, they left religious persecution behind but brought a ton of solid dad jokes to the New World. In the early days of physical comedy, Dads practiced the fine art of “magically” pulling a sixpence from the head of well-behaved children. This uproarious joke had kids rolling and gyrating on the ground for about 70 years until accusations of witchcraft led to the burning of 27 dads at the Worcester Witch Dad Trials of 1692.

Early 1800s: "The Birthday Present Switcheroo"


Among the many hardships facing pioneers during the early 19th century, perhaps the worst was the threat of kids correctly guessing their birthday present. As a result, pioneer dads would go to great lengths to create a ruse to befuddle and amuse their kin on their big day. 16-year-olds expecting the keys to a new horse, for example, might be initially disappointed to receive a lump of hay, only to be told that “maybe there’s something in the stable” that want might to eat said hay. Laughter and joy would ensue until the next day when the birthday boy would be expected to use his “new ride” to plow the fields for the next 54 years.

 

Four Outdoorsy Dads: The Frontier 40

As dad jokes have evolved much over the past millennium, so too has the quintessential "dad scent." What was once defined by dirt, sweat, and tobacco has transformed into something much more appealing due to advancements in soap technology. Consider, for example, The Frontier 40 Soap Set. It’s a highlight reel of all the best outdoor aromas nature has to offer, from fresh split pine to burning hickory, and it’s available in a sturdy cardboard box that could be used to hide junior's next present.

 

Tune in next week as we explore the tragic history of the "pull my finger" dad joke.